Getting Started Writing Your Memoir
Writing one's memoir can be overwhelming. There are so many memories that flow in and out of one's mind simultaneously. They occur in rushes, stimulated by the associations of daily life, of reading, of talking with friends and acquaintances. Then, when one sits down to begin a memoir all sorts of stuff, from details like when and where to bigger issues like, who was that person who rode into my thoughts, said something with great aptness, and then disappeared. How could I sit down and write out my story? I don't really remember much about my life except these weird probably unreliable fragments.
Well the truth is you will most likely start off writing in fragments--in bits and pieces, a few words, a few sentences about something, maybe a few paragraphs, maybe a few pages even. But almost no memoirists really starts writing at the beginning ("I was born," for example) or writes on through to the end (". . . and so here I am today"). Novelists like Dickens and Stern pretend they do (see David Copperfield or Tristram Shandy, for example). But that "I" who was being birthed so imaginatively doesn't yet have the sheer mental power to create and keep memories, despite some therapist might tell you. That "I" was nowhere near yet the full blown experienced individual who is narrating the memoir you're trying to write. That's a kind of joke, but also a serious issue when it comes to writing your own memoir. How on earth can one "compose" one's own life? One seems to drift along on a stream of consciousness as the mind associates one memory with another. That okay, but one does need, eventually, you're going to discipline this tendency, to find enough focus to be able to tell one coherent story at a time, and eventually pull all the fragments you write together. One way to do this is to begin with stream of consciousness writing, but when your shifts to something else, as it inevitably does, STOP and start with a new page, then continue writing. After a while, you end up with a stack of fragments
The real trick is to keep the chaos of fragments organized as you produce them so you can find them when you want them later, to add to them, or to assemble them into larger stories or chapters. So it's very important to get organized early, and then use your organization. I heartily recommend using an old-fashioned, non digital three-ring binder with a setlow of 10 or 12 tabbed dividers (labeled into broad subject areas or decades) to keep your fragments and sketches and stories in order--even if you are writing on the computer. Learn how to set up your memory binder here.
After you set up your notebook with a preliminary set of sections that connect with your life, then it's time to develop a few basic tools that will help you dig a little deeper and get beyond the dozen or so stories of your life you already want to write down. These basics are timelines (Exercise 3), floor plans (Exercise 4), lists (Exercise 5), and memorabilia, particularly snapshots (Exercise 6) and home movies.
Now it's time to get writing. And as you write, put in the details. Put in the Facts not just the feelings. Remember the journalists mantra: Who, How, What, When, & Why. These are important for a memoirist too. Use whole names, and place names, put in dates if you can, and how old you and the others in your stories were. Be specific about what happened, and explain the details particularly if the details of what you are writing about are no longer familiar--Was your first job working in a hardware store? What was that like? What kind of tools and equipment did you sell? What did they look like? It's very important to fill in the context and descriptions of things when you write about times past. Remember, your readers, whether family or stranger, may be reading your words decades in the future. Description thrives when the write deliberately pauses to consider the five senses--how something or someone looked, smelled, felt, tasted, and what sounds it made.
A final word about the writing. Write your story, your stories as you speak. Don't worry so much about "proper" writing. This is your story, so write it as you want to. There is no right or wrong way to tell your story. You are in charge. Be patient with yourself too, your writing will get better as you go along. And have fun with what you're doing. Let yourself tell your story, even if it seems hard or uncomfortable. Relax. Have fun.
Now try Exercise 1
Well the truth is you will most likely start off writing in fragments--in bits and pieces, a few words, a few sentences about something, maybe a few paragraphs, maybe a few pages even. But almost no memoirists really starts writing at the beginning ("I was born," for example) or writes on through to the end (". . . and so here I am today"). Novelists like Dickens and Stern pretend they do (see David Copperfield or Tristram Shandy, for example). But that "I" who was being birthed so imaginatively doesn't yet have the sheer mental power to create and keep memories, despite some therapist might tell you. That "I" was nowhere near yet the full blown experienced individual who is narrating the memoir you're trying to write. That's a kind of joke, but also a serious issue when it comes to writing your own memoir. How on earth can one "compose" one's own life? One seems to drift along on a stream of consciousness as the mind associates one memory with another. That okay, but one does need, eventually, you're going to discipline this tendency, to find enough focus to be able to tell one coherent story at a time, and eventually pull all the fragments you write together. One way to do this is to begin with stream of consciousness writing, but when your shifts to something else, as it inevitably does, STOP and start with a new page, then continue writing. After a while, you end up with a stack of fragments
The real trick is to keep the chaos of fragments organized as you produce them so you can find them when you want them later, to add to them, or to assemble them into larger stories or chapters. So it's very important to get organized early, and then use your organization. I heartily recommend using an old-fashioned, non digital three-ring binder with a setlow of 10 or 12 tabbed dividers (labeled into broad subject areas or decades) to keep your fragments and sketches and stories in order--even if you are writing on the computer. Learn how to set up your memory binder here.
After you set up your notebook with a preliminary set of sections that connect with your life, then it's time to develop a few basic tools that will help you dig a little deeper and get beyond the dozen or so stories of your life you already want to write down. These basics are timelines (Exercise 3), floor plans (Exercise 4), lists (Exercise 5), and memorabilia, particularly snapshots (Exercise 6) and home movies.
Now it's time to get writing. And as you write, put in the details. Put in the Facts not just the feelings. Remember the journalists mantra: Who, How, What, When, & Why. These are important for a memoirist too. Use whole names, and place names, put in dates if you can, and how old you and the others in your stories were. Be specific about what happened, and explain the details particularly if the details of what you are writing about are no longer familiar--Was your first job working in a hardware store? What was that like? What kind of tools and equipment did you sell? What did they look like? It's very important to fill in the context and descriptions of things when you write about times past. Remember, your readers, whether family or stranger, may be reading your words decades in the future. Description thrives when the write deliberately pauses to consider the five senses--how something or someone looked, smelled, felt, tasted, and what sounds it made.
A final word about the writing. Write your story, your stories as you speak. Don't worry so much about "proper" writing. This is your story, so write it as you want to. There is no right or wrong way to tell your story. You are in charge. Be patient with yourself too, your writing will get better as you go along. And have fun with what you're doing. Let yourself tell your story, even if it seems hard or uncomfortable. Relax. Have fun.
Now try Exercise 1